


Colorblind

by orphan_account



Series: A World of Color [3]
Category: Free!
Genre: (a little excessively sorry), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Swearing, Teen Angst, just barely though, slight RinHaru (onesided) in the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the same universe as <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1569854">A World of Color</a>, it's the story of how Rin finally finds his soulmate, but at a time when he's insistent that he doesn't need one. (rating is for swearing)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colorblind

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to do this one ever since I finished A World Of Color, but I just haven't had the inspiration at all. Then I listened to Colorblind by Counting Crows and it hit me. So I just wrote for like three hours. Also, the rating is because I may have gotten a little carried away with Rin's cursing. So yep. Sorry about that haha.
> 
> Now, here is Rin and Nitori's story.

Anger wasn’t an unfamiliar emotion to Rin. He’d been angry for years, and it was just something he’d gotten used to. 

 _Longing_ , however, that tight ache deep in his chest that kept stringing him along, was not something he’d dealt with frequently. Rin had desires, of course—he _would_ be an Olympic champion, and be the best anyone had ever seen, but…

He wanted to see the colors. 

When he was younger, and had first realized that Mako and Haru were both able to see more than varying shades of black and white, he’d been struck by such a severe yearning that it nearly doubled him over. Up until that point, he’d only wanted to be friends with Haru and Makoto to swim with them, to be the best relay team. But after that, he found himself hanging on Makoto’s every word, listening intently when he would describe the creamy blue of the sky, like the ocean pinned to the atmosphere. 

Of course, none of those things meant anything to Rin. Everything was grey to him. 

Not to mention… Well, he had been disappointed when he first met Haru and nothing had changed. From what he had seen of him at swim meets, he was sure that Nanase Haruka would be the one. It hurt more than he cared to admit when he discovered that it was Haru and Makoto. The fact that they were closer than two people he’d ever met made no difference. He was childish and petty, and he wanted Haru. 

Sometimes he could even imagine what it would be like—swimming endlessly among the waters of the world, able to distinguish between the varying shades of blue and green that swirled in them. They would push each other, constantly driving one another to be better, and the world would only grow brighter and vibrant. 

But it was a painful dream, one that he’d tried many times to give up. They’d known each other for years, and the pain only festered deep within him, making him bitter and tainting their friendship. It was _their_ fault after all, not his. 

// 

The night after they had met at the old Iwatobi Swim Club, Rin cried. He wasn’t sure if they were angry tears (because he was angry—damn those perfect little _soul mates_ ), or if that throbbing pang in his chest was something more. He wanted what they had, and even after years apart, he still struggled with seeing them and knowing what they were able to see. 

Well. He would join Samezuka’s swim club. And he would show them. He didn’t need those damned colors or a soul mate to make his dreams a reality. 

He didn’t need _anybody_. 

// 

With a duffle bag slung over his shoulder, Rin opened the door to his new room. Now that he was a part of the swim team, he would be moving into the private swimmer’s dorms. It seemed ridiculous to move rooms, but this hallway had unlimited access to the pool, so he supposed it wasn’t too bad. 

A light voice squeaked from the other side of the room, a monochrome figure rummaging through some drawers. 

“Do you want top or bottom?” 

Rin jerked back, his upper lip curling in confusion. “Wh- _what_?” 

The smaller figure closed the drawer and turned to look at him. 

“Top or bottom bunk senp—” When their eyes met, the boy’s final word choked in his throat, the plosive consonant cutting short and fading into a breath of air. 

The world spun, and baby blue eyes shifted into focus. The hair, surprisingly stayed the same shimmery silver as before, but creamy skin met with the pale green of a cotton tee, each fiber thrown into sharp relief against the sudden influx of color. 

 _Fuck_. 

Rin dropped his bag and turned on his heel, leaving the room before the other boy had chance to recover from his shock. 

The previously gray hallways were bright and piercing, and he stumbled as he tried to get away. This was not happening. His senses were suffering from a massive overload, and his eyes watered from the pain of trying to soak everything in at once. 

That kid—that scrawny little punk, was supposed to be his soul mate? 

Fat chance in hell. He would rather go back to being color blind than deal with this. How could anyone stand color anyways? It was so damn overwhelming. His pulse raced and the throbbing in his head increased and made him dizzy. And this was not supposed to happen—Rin didn’t need anyone anymore, this was so fucked up and god, he was so done with all this soul mate bullshit, and why the fuck was this happening _now_ , when he’d already decided that he was fine on his own? 

Inhaling deeply, he leaned against the wall in an empty hallway, far enough away from his dorm that hopefully that kid wouldn’t find him. What could he do now? He couldn’t switch rooms now, but he did not want some kid hanging all over him now that they were “soul mates.” 

Maybe… Rin rubbed his forehead and kept his eyes shut tightly. Maybe, he could just pretend nothing had changed. It wasn’t completely unheard of, that soul mates might not be right for another. One person might see color, and the other… Colorblind. 

Perhaps Rin could pretend that happened to him. The other kid’s reaction, the way those innocent eyes widened, and his lips fell open in awe—there was no denying that he’d seen color. But could Rin explain away his reaction? A sudden headache, or the realization that he’d left something in his old room? God, but the timing was a little too coincidental to try and explain. And could he really fake living in a colorless world when everything was absolutely bursting with intensity now? 

He would have to. A soul mate wasn’t what he was interested in now. He wanted to win, and to prove to Haru and those other guys, that he didn’t need them, or anyone. 

// 

Steadying himself in front of his dorm, Rin worked his expression into a careless, even slightly annoyed mien. His phone gripped in one hand, the other worked his key into the lock and turned the handle. 

“Sorry kid, I forgot my phone…?” 

The room was empty. 

The annoyance he’d been faking grew until it was very real, scratching at him and leaving him raw and truly pissed. Where the hell did that kid go? They were soul mates for god’s sake, and he just left? 

A stab of something like guilt pricked Rin. 

“ _Fuck_.” 

// 

Nitori Aiichirou was a pack rat, horrible at organizing anything, and terribly self-deprecating. 

The first time they had stayed in the room together for longer than two minutes was unbearably awkward. Rin could actually feel Nitori’s eyes on him, assessing, obsessing, possessing every atom of Rin’s appearance until it felt like the color was seeping out of him and being absorbed into Nitori’s gaze. 

But Rin stayed quiet and continued to do his English homework. Besides, it’s not like he could blame the kid for staring; the first time Rin had seen himself in a mirror he had been stunned. The features he’d become so familiar with for years suddenly seemed so different, so intimidating with crimson hair and fiery red eyes that scorched everything they saw. He’d also been surprised to note the barely-there discoloration on his neck, a hint of a scar from when he’d fallen off the deck of his father’s fishing boat as a child. 

He’d forgotten that was there. 

// 

Slowly, pretending came more naturally, and Rin was able to relax with the occasionally annoying Nitori. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for the disarming innocence in his blue eyes, Rin would have snapped at the overzealous teen much more often.

But when you were looking into the eyes of the sky, it was difficult to exert any kind of anger. 

It was the opposite with Haru; while Nitori’s eyes reminded him of the sky, Haru’s eyes were like tide pools, linked to the infinite expanse of the ocean and threatening to disappear or storm angrily at any moment. Anger grew easily because of those eyes. 

The dreams Rin used to have of swimming with Haru, lingering in blue-green waves, were long gone. It surprised him to see the earthy green of Makoto’s eyes, and to realize how their eye colors matched their personalities and complemented one another. 

Makoto had grassy green eyes, and he was grounded like the earth, a source of stability for Haruka, who held the fluctuating uncertainty of the water in his eyes. Even Nagisa and that new kid—speedo glasses, complemented each other well. Nagisa’s fuchsia eyes were playful and intense, tempered by the level stare of Ryugazaki’s (that was that punk’s name—Rin hadn’t been thrilled when Glasses had shown up at Samezuka) amethyst eyes. 

But he wasn’t thinking about that. It wasn’t important. Getting better was important; working on improving his time was important; making sure that he made it to nationals and beat Haru’s stupid team was importa— 

“Senpai! Umm, can you help me with this problem?” 

Nitori’s blue eyes turned on Rin, a pleading expression in place as he held up his English workbook. Rin sighed and rolled his eyes, before beginning to explain the question to Nitori. 

//

Things were getting better. Rin nearly flipped his shit when he found out about Makoto nearly dying during their lame training camp, but the shock of really _losing_ one of his old friends was sobering. Nitori had been nothing but helpful, if maybe a bit too helpful at times, and Rin snubbed him continuously. He wasn’t angry, not anymore, but he was tired. 

Pretending had been easy, sure, but only for a short while. But the week before their big meet it was dragging Rin down, both mentally and physically. And then Mikoshiba pulled him from the relay. The world was smoldering around him, hot and heavy, ready to burst into flames at the slightest provocation. This was supposed to be his chance, to get back everything he had thought he’d lost, and god damn it, why the hell was this all happening now? 

“…cheer up! You’ll get another shot at the relay at nationals…” The smoldering increased, Nitori’s words fanning the flames. “…forget about the relay,” but the flames ignited, consuming everything in Rin and leaving a charred, sickening anger molten-hot inside of him.

“Shut up!” Rin ignored the way Nitori flinched away, his arms crossing in front of his body as if he thought Rin would hit him. 

Rin honestly didn’t know if he would have or not. It sickened him further, and as he got ready for his 100-meter freestyle race, the spiraling guilt and anger churning through his stomach made him feel off balance. The picture of his father’s relay team and their happy, smiling faces taunted him. He felt like he was being mocked for something he could never have. 

When had it turned into this? He was late getting onto his starting block, and as the starting beep sounded muted. The burn in his arms and legs paralleled the searing pain in his pounding heart. What was he swimming for anymore? What was _his_ dream? 

The slam of his hand against the finishing wall stung. His arms shook and he struggled to pull himself out of the water, his right elbow slamming down hard on the unforgiving cement. The pain in his muscles was too much. The pain in his heart was even worse. It felt like he was losing everything. 

//

Not quite everything.

Haru had found him, surprised him, and Rin nearly broke his face with his fist. Rather than the release of knuckles against skin, the sight of “For the Team” pierced the hard rock of his heart, releasing all the pain and longing that had built up for years. Staring down into Haru’s blue eyes, with the color swirling misty behind his tears, he knew what he wanted. It was never about finding his soul mate, or seeing the colors.

It had been about all of them. Swimming for each other and securing their friendship in the best way Rin knew how. 

It had been cathartic, watching his friends in front of him; Makoto’s long arms coming down hard in the water and Nagisa’s slim frame popping up and down relentlessly as he pulled forward.

And then it was Rin’s turn. The water welcomed him, the echoes of his friends pushing him along, guiding him forward and easing the path. From somewhere among the splashing and shouts, “Matsuoka-senpai!” rang clearly, urging Rin along even faster. This time, when his hand hit the wall, all of his nerves sang out with the excitement bursting through him. 

It didn’t hurt. Not anymore. 

// 

It had been horribly embarrassing to watch Iwatobi’s team get disqualified for him though. And even more humiliating was owning up to Mikoshiba and asking to be kicked off the swim team. 

A quiet “Matsuoka-senpai,” made the guilt sink heavily into his stomach. 

“Nitori,” Rin began, straightening up to look right at the silver-haired young man, “sorry for yelling at you.” His face was resigned, knowing how poorly he had mistreated Nitori, when he had done nothing but try his best. 

The surprise was evident on Nitori’s face. 

“You don’t have to worry about that!” Sometimes, Rin was certain Nitori was too kind for his own good. “And anyway, we can’t kick you off…” 

Mikoshiba jumped in, his voice hard and direct as he narrowed his eyes at Rin. 

“I won’t accept that. I have a better way for you to own up to your actions.” His pulse was racing again, fear trickling into his veins. “Swim the way you just did for our team.” 

When Mikoshiba smiled, it was a little weird. But when he grinned, it was absolutely terrifying. But the fear seeping into him stopped; he would never have to be afraid of swimming again. 

As the Samezuka team began to head out, Rin watched the colors surrounding Nitori brighten. The warm glow of the setting sun was absorbed into the smaller boy’s tired eyes. _Just this once_ , Rin thought, _I’ll admit it. He is beautiful_. 

“Nitori.” Gentle blue eyes turned to face Rin, eyebrows lowered in confusion. “Er… Ai.” 

The effect of saying his given name was not one Rin was prepared for. Those blue eyes that he’d seen a million times widened, sparkling like water. But Ai wasn’t the water. No… His eyes were the open sky, ready and waiting to give Rin the freedom he’d been denying himself since the first day he’d seen them. And for the first time, Rin felt like he might actually want to experience that. 

“Practice with me again, starting tomorrow.” 

“Yes, Rin-senpai!” 

While Rin thought he didn’t need anyone, the delighted blush and huge smile Ai gave him made him think that, just maybe, he might want someone anyways. 

// 

It had been hard to admit to Ai what Rin thought Ai probably already knew. But he’d been so insensitive, he knew that he had to say it out loud. So one day, after they’d gotten out of the pool, Rin casually remarked, 

“You know, I can, uh… I can see colors, Ai.” A startled squeak caused Rin to look over at his friend. Ai’s hands were tightly clutching his towel, staring at it like his life depended on it. 

“Really, Matsuoka-senpai?” 

“Ever since that day I first met you.” Confessing that out loud had been like being punched in the gut. Why it felt like that for Rin, he didn’t know. Wasn’t that the sort of sensation you associated with being confessed to, rather then when you confessed? 

Maybe it was because smaller arms had suddenly wrapped around his waist, holding onto him so tightly that he wondered if maybe he had gotten punched accidentally. But Rin just chuckled quietly and awkwardly put an arm around Ai. Just because he’d accepted that he felt like the traditional idea of soul mates, did not mean he was ready to run around holding hands and acting horribly lovesick. He’d leave that to Nagisa and Rei for now. 

“I saw them too, Rin-senpai. I see the colors too.” Nitori’s arms were shaking now, and Rin couldn’t help but feel flood of affection wash over him.

“Just Rin, Ai. You can call me Rin.” 

When Ai looked up at him, his eyes were so clear that he could see his own wine-red eyes reflected back. For years, Rin thought he would never see anything like this. Now he held it securely in his arms. 

// 

That confidence was fully secured a few months later, after a joint practice with Iwatobi. The Iwatobi Team, including Kou and Seijuurou (who Rin had promised not to bite—just because he was his captain did not mean he wouldn’t take a nice chunk out of him if he ever did anything to his baby sister), had wanted to get something to eat since it was a Friday. Rin and Nitori had of course been invited along, so the eight of them walked to a local restaurant. The atmosphere had been so light and comfortable, that Rin’s hand had slipped easily into Nitori’s. 

It wasn’t until he noticed Nagisa’s suggestive stare at their joined hands that Rin realized what he had done. But he could care less. 

Tugging gently on Ai’s hand to stop him, he pulled the smaller boy to him and pressed an earnest kiss to his surprised lips. The dazed, happy expression that accompanied the adorable blush tinting Ai’s cheeks made Rin feel quite smug. 

Looking at his gaping friends, he firmly announced, “He’s my soul mate, and it’s about damn time we stopped hiding that, so deal with it!” 

Nagisa squealed in excitement, tugging on Rei’s hand and trying to pester Rin with details.

But the pleased smile that settled on Ai’s face kept him quiet—it was _their_ story, and besides, the details didn’t matter. They’d finally made it here, and that was what was important.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, disclaimer, that whole huge section about the relay is a LOT of quoting straight from episode 12. Just to get that out of the way.
> 
> And I didn't edit this, and I don't have a beta, sooooo let me know if there are mistakes please! Enjoy anyways though :)


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